It didn't happen

So, he cancelled on me for the holiday weekend. Boy was I heated, I didn't bother talking to him until Sunday. He told me that something happened, but he didn't feel like talking about it. In my mind the first thing that came to mind was "BULLSHIT". My holiday weekend was alright, I spent it with my daughter and traveling to families homes. It was basically a weekend that I didn't want to be bothered. I felt like he wasted my time, killed it. I have been very stressed lately and all I wanted to do was get out. Chicago, a place I didn't want to see for a few days and I was there.
When I finally spoke with him, I was still upset and fury was in my voice, I let him here every part of the fury. Holding nothing back, I asked him if he was going to tell me the real reason why he cancelled. He not only cancelled on me but on a few other people as well. Then he laid it on me, a close friend of his was murdered. Murdered?? Ain't that some shit. He said that was his last straw and he couldn't take it anymore. And all I heard was the pain in his voice.
Then I thought, all this time of being selfish and wanting to be with him, I should've went. Alone. I didn't know that it was that bad for him. I told him that I did think it was bullshit, how he said put things to me. That he didn't want me to be down there with him. I really thought it was something else, maybe another woman. You know what can go through a persons' mind, especially mine. I feel bad now, but only for a little while. :)
Why would I think bad about this relationship, another woman? Wow... Has it really been that bad for me? When I say, "I trust him," do I really? Can I trust? That's the real question.